This is part 10 of a 12 part series that I call the 12 X’s of Leadership.

We have all heard the old phrase, “Never promise more than you can deliver and always deliver more than you promise”.  It is one of the first business quotes many of us learned when we got out first jobs. And there is a lot of truth to it.

It has to do with managing the expectations of others and then exceeding those expectations to leave them with a great experience and great feeling of working with you.

What is interesting to note is that exceeding normal expectations many times does not have to be a herculean effort on your part with gut wrenching upheaval in your life. It sometimes means just doing a little bit better.

For example, do you know what the difference is between a baseball player that hits .200 for his career, makes just enough money to cover food, and never leaves Single A division and a player with a career .300 batting average, making seven figures annually, and in the Hall of Fame? Just one hit in every ten tries!

When I encourage people to exceed normal expectations, I mean to simply focus on making little improvements all along the way…not necessarily huge life changing shifts.

It’s like a horse race. I went to the Kentucky Derby two years ago. Now, I am not sure how much prize money is actually awarded, but let’s just say the first place horse won a million dollars and the second place horse got a half million.

In order to get twice the reward did the first place horse have to run twice as fast? Did it have to run twice as far? Did it have to train twice as long? NO.

How much better did the first place horse have to be than the second place horse? Just a nose.

Is there room in your life today to be just a nose better than yesterday?

I grew up in a home that was in a golf course community. Hole #2 was my backyard. It was a fun hole to grow up on. Long. Narrow. Water on the left. Out of bounds on the right. It was the hardest hole on the entire course. It was where handicaps went to die.

I learned a lot of neat things living on that hole watching the golfers play:

1. Words – I was not allowed to use.
2. That a putter could fly 100 feet if thrown after missing an 18-inch par putt.
3. That you could wrap a driver around a pine tree.

Funny how we tend to take out our frustrations on other things when we are really disappointed in ourselves.

Do you really think it was the putter’s fault when the putt was missed?

Was it the driver’s fault the ball went into the water?

I wish we only did this to things. You see things don’t have feelings. But sometimes though, I find myself taking out my frustrations on other people when I am really disappointed with myself.

How about you? Ever come home from a tough day at work and spend the evening yelling at your kids or arguing with your spouse? I have.

It’s almost like my emotions have hijacked my rationale and my behavior.

Don’t let this happen to you. When you find yourself in the “lash out mode”, stop, take a deep breath, and think, “Wait a minute…where is this coming from?”

For me it is rarely an appropriate response to lash out at another. I usually need to take responsibility for whatever has transpired and stop taking out my frustrations on others.

This is part 9 of a 12 part series that I call the 12 X’s of Leadership.

“Can you believe there is nothing chocolate on the dessert buffet!

You pay this kind of money and you certainly expect to have at least one chocolate item!

This buffet has certainly gone down hill since the last time I was here!

I cannot believe this!”

Have you ever known someone who whenever they open their mouth, something negative comes out? I just want to smack them! I don’t have many pet peeves, but this is one of them.

• Whiners.
• Complainers.
• Naysayers.

These are the people who could have been given tickets to the Super Bowl on the 50-yard line and then complain that the team logo, in the center of the field, is facing the other direction.

It doesn’t matter what the setting is, they will find something to complain about, grumble over, or belittle.

Many of these people think they are being funny. But the truth is they are simply sabotaging the atmosphere around them…and you need to avoid them. Why? Because attitude is contagious and these folks will destroy the culture and climate around them and slowly suck the life out of relationships.

As I write this blog I am in Morgantown, WV, sitting in a very nice restaurant. The “Saturday Night Prime Rib and Crab Leg Buffet” is the weekly hot spot for fine dining in the area.

Seated at the table next to me was a woman who had been grumbling for 10 minutes that there was nothing chocolate on the dessert portion of the buffet.

Clearly, her dinner companions got fed up with her and just wanted her to shut her pie hole (I know, sorry, bad pun). I watched their evening slowly dissipate into a very negative experience.

After hearing all that talk about chocolate, I was in the mood for some too. I asked my waiter about the lack of chocolate on the buffet and he said, “Let me see what I can do for you.” He came back a moment later and asked if I would like chocolate cake or chocolate ice cream—I got both.

What is amazing is that many times the very things people are complaining about, they could actually do something to correct. But rather than try to do something to rectify the situation they prefer to grumble and whine.

While it is easy to see this in others, be careful that it does not worm its way into your life.

This is part 8 of a 12 part series that I call the 12 X’s of Leadership

As the old saying goes, “Men and rivers seldom drift to success.” Achieving dreams. Obtaining goals. Hitting targets. They all require extra effort.

Think of it this way…to truly fulfill your potential you’ve got to be a rubber band. A rubber band never fully serves its purpose until when? When it is stretched around something bigger than itself.

That’s what it is like trying to make progress on purpose in your life. Think of anyone who has “made it” in some endeavor. They almost always had to work for it. Stretch for it. Reach for it.

Whether it is the politician, the professional athlete, the best salesrep, the teacher of the year, the top manager, or the great mom, every one of them had to exercise effort to get there.

Oh, but stinkin’ thinkin’ can sneak in. Ever hear someone say, “The only way to really make money is to own your own business.” Let me tell you the folly in words like that…It’s not what is said but rather what is left unsaid that follows words like that. What’s left unsaid is, “Therefore I’m not gonna work real hard around here.”

Exercising extra effort tends to create extra opportunities.

While this principle is easy to see in your professional life it is also true in your personal life. For example if you want a great family life, it takes extra effort. It takes work. It takes sacrifice.

I have discovered (and I’ll bet you have discovered the same thing) problems at work are patient—they’ll wait for you to come back.

Sometimes at work we need to sacrifice some home time—but this is a two way street—sometimes at home we need to sacrifice some work time.

But here is the good news…there is no traffic jam on the extra mile!

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This is part 7 of a 12 part series that I call the 12 X’s of Leadership

Several dozen upper level engineering students were waiting for their professor to arrive one day for class. While not a formal understanding on most college campuses, there is a kind of unspoken rule that if a professor is more than 5 minutes late, then class is canceled.

Just as the students were about to “high five” and head for the door, in walked their professor carrying a large cardboard box. He loudly dropped the box on his desk and announced, “I am giving you a surprise exam today and a large percentage of your final grade in this class will be determined by how well you do on this test.”

Immediately groans were heard throughout the room as the students began to nervously wonder upon what they were soon to be tested.

The professor pulled out a barometer and stated, “I have brought a barometer to class for each of you. Your assignment is to calculate the exact height of this engineering building using the barometer. You have one hour to complete the task and turn in your calculations and descriptions for the assignment.”

He then walked out of the room.

Stunned, shocked silence hung in the air. Several students laid their heads on their desks. Sniffing could be heard as others began to quietly weep knowing they were not prepared for this exam.

But three students leapt from their chairs, raced down the aisle, and each grabbed a barometer.

The first, ran up to the top of the building and took a barometric reading at the top. She then raced down to the bottom of the building and took another barometric reading at the bottom of the building. Armed with the differential between the top and the bottom, she was able to mathematically calculate the exact height of the building. At the appointed time she submitted her paper to the professor who said, “Well done! That is exactly the correct way to do this – A+”

The second student also ran to the top of the building. But rather than take a barometric reading, he dropped the barometer over the edge while simultaneously mashing the start button for the stopwatch feature on his sports watch. When the barometer crashed onto the pavement at the base of the building, he hit the stop button. He now knew the exact amount of time it took the barometer to fall from the top to the bottom of the building and was able to mathematically calculate the exact height of the building based on gravity, speed, and velocity. At the appointed time, he submitted his findings to the professor who read the report and surprisingly stated, “You’re right! I would have never thought to do it that way – A+”

The third student grabbed a barometer and took off across campus to her dorm room. Once there, she threw open the door, grabbed her kite, and ripped the string off the kite. She then raced back up to the top of the building, tied the string to the barometer and lowered the device over the edge down to the ground. When the barometer touched the ground, she cut the string at the top, ran back down to the ground, laid the string out, and measured the length of string to determine the exact height of the building. When the professor read her paper he exclaimed, “You’re right! What a creative way to do this… I would have never thought of this – A+”

A fourth student also rose to the challenge, but in a very different way. He meandered to the cardboard box, plucked out a barometer, and strolled over to the Coke machine. He dropped in some money, grabbed two Cokes and walked down the hall to the building superintendent’s office.

“Hey Bill”, the student said.

“What’s up kiddo?” replied the superintendent … and then he added, “Hey what’s that yer holdin’?”

The student described the barometer and all the neat things one could do with it and the superintendent said, “Man, I’d really like one of them.”

To which the student replied, “I’ll trade you for a copy of the plans for this building.”

When the professor read this student’s report, he leaned back in his chair, rubbed his chin and said, “Well, you got the answer right…and you used the barometer to get it!”

As we go through this life, we will face many obstacles and challenges that will try to prevent us from accomplishing our goals. Remember to explore all possible avenues…your solution may not at first be obvious.

This is part 6 of a 12 part series that I call the 12 X’s of Leadership

If you have been following this series of blogs (Hi mom and dad), you know that two of the first 5 X’s we have discussed include Extracting a Dream and Expressing Your Vision to Others. Both sound reasonable, make sense, and you may even be tempted to try them out. But this X provides a warning…sometimes when you do have a dream, goal, or target and you share it with others—let’s just say they are not as excited about it as you.

Have you ever noticed how some people are dream destroyers or target trashers?

I’m not sure they do it on purpose, but nonetheless they seem to have a way of taking all the air out of your balloon before you even have a chance to let it fly.

Now, while you may not be able to identify them by sight, you have certainly heard their discouraging words:

“Oh, good luck getting somebody to hire you with your experience.”

“Why bother even trying, you don’t have a shot at that opportunity.”

“You think you have a chance to get on that team…what have you been smoking?”

When you have a goal, dream, or target and you share it, you open yourself up to ridicule and criticism. You see there are a lot of cynics out there who do not have goals…they are content just coasting along taking the path of least resistance taking pot shots at others. They are comfortable with mediocrity.

Let me tell you about mediocrity…

It recognizes greatness.
It resents it.
And it seeks to pull it down.

These folks like to try and build themselves up, not by improving themselves but, by pulling you down.

Cynicism is cancer of the attitude.

So what do you do when someone tries to cut down your dream, your idea, your goal? Write them off. Like water off a duck’s back, let their words just fall off you. Don’t even allow them to hang out in your head for a moment.

Trust me. You will almost always encounter opposition in this life. Now, if you know this is the truth…don’t let it throw you off your game. Be prepared for it. And in the immortal words of Winston Churchill, “Never give up. Never give up. Never give up.”

This is part 5 of a 12 part series that I call the 12 X’s of Leadership

These days there is much written and said about the power of vision. Corporate boards of directors are encouraged to have mission and vision statements. Consultants criss-cross our country helping their clients to facilitate “vision meetings”. Leaders are expected to “cast the vision” for the organization. I have even run across the phrase “visioneering”.

Now, while there are many different ways to define a vision or a vision statement, I tend to like the “easy to remember” ones like this:

Vision – a picture of where you see yourself (or your department, team, family, organization, whatever) in “5,10,20” years…you pick the number.

The experts say that vision helps to motivate us (or our teammates, employees, partners, etc.) to “stay the course”, to “keep going when the going gets tough”, to “never give up and never give in”.

A vision should inspire, empower, and motivate.

I like this idea and have almost always heard it exclusively used when discussing organizations. But I think people should have personal vision statements too. [If you missed it go back and check out Part 2 of this 12 part series—the one entitled Extract a Dream.]

But here is where I break away from the pack of “you need to have a vision statement folks”. While having a vision is great, it is only the first step. I think equally important is Expressing Your Vision to Others.

There is something transformational that takes place when you articulate your vision.

• It seals commitment.
• It invites accountability
• It galvanizes resolve.

And that is only part of the benefit. When we express our visions to others it is amazing to watch them line up behind us to help us get there.

When I finally made the decision to write my first book Sticks & Stones Exposed: The Power of Our Words, I didn’t tell anyone. Honestly, I think I was afraid I would fail and then have to answer all the questions about when it was coming out, how it was going and who was going to publish it, yada, yada, yada.

Now, while I had a vision of writing a book, I was in way over my head. I had never written a book. I didn’t know how to find a publisher, design a cover, find out if my working title had ever been used before, how to get an ISBN number, how to get a Library of Congress number, and so many other details. It seemed every day I discovered yet another aspect about which I had no clue.

It was overwhelming and disheartening and my book project slowed to a frozen snail’s pace.

So finally, with a bit of fear and trepidation, I whispered my vision to another person. They got all excited about my project and referred me to someone who knew about book cover design who knew someone that had a publisher friend who knew someone who had written a book, etc. The domino effect was in full swing. It seemed the more I expressed my vision to others; the more I met people who were excited to help me accomplish my dream! And together we did it.

Express your vision to others and watch great things happen!